|
What is involved in creating a self-image?
Your self-image is developed by how you assess the
following factors in your personhood:
-
Physical appearance.
-
Shape of your
body.
-
Accomplishments. in academics.
-
Achievement in
athletics.
-
Social skills.
-
Value system.
-
Skills, abilities
& competencies.
-
Relationship w/family,
relatives, siblings, peer group & others.
-
Behavior in social
& professional situations.
-
Background &
environment from which you came.
-
Roles played in
life at school, home, work & in the community.
-
Jobs & job titles held.
-
Goals, ambitions
& aspirations for the future.
How does your self-image affect you?
It's from your self-image that you:
|
If your self-image label is: |
Then your script says you should: |
|
fat |
overeat & not exercise |
|
drunk |
drink to excess |
|
intelligent |
be a good problem solver & decision maker |
|
thin |
control your eating & exercise habits, always look chic |
|
competent |
be able to handle life's challenges w/confidence, be successful in your endeavors |
|
friendly |
be easy to get to know, sociable, outgoing |
|
negative |
always see the dark, pessimistic side of life |
|
handsome / beautiful |
have the looks that appeal to others, trendy fashions &
hairstyle, pay close attention to physical self |
|
compulsive |
act in a compulsive way |
|
depressed |
act in a depressed way |
|
loser |
act like a loser |
|
winner |
act like a winner |
 Develop expectations for how you are to act & react.
Develop self-talk by which you continuously reinforce your self-image.
Set goals for yourself.
-
If self-image is too high or unrealistic, you set goals that are often unreachable or too perfectionistic. You
continue to fall short of the mark.
-
If self-image is too low & unrealistic, you set goals that are too easily reached, never attaining overall
satisfaction.
-
If self-image is realistic, you can set attainable goals leading to overall satisfaction
What impact does body image have on self-image?
Body image, one part of self-image, is the way people
see their bodies in their mind's eye. Body image affects how people view themselves because:
-
Physical
appearance is the external presentation people make to others.
-
Physical
appearance is the first quality by which people are judged.
-
Our
society is very physical appearance oriented, e.g., where thin is in, muscles & flat stomachs are in, etc.
-
If
you feel attractive, you'll act accordingly; the reverse is true if you feel unattractive.
-
Your self-image is affected by the ways others react to your physical appearance.
Quick 'n' Easy Self-Image Makeover
- By Rosella Aranda
How would you like to spruce up your self-image? You know, give your self-esteem a real boost? You're equipped to do so, you know. Please, allow me to show you a neat little trick that'll jumpstart your
self-image makeover.
Okay, ready? I want you to
think of a big, mean dog. He’s baring his teeth & growling at you. He looks like he’s about to pounce on you. There’s
nothing standing between you & him.
Take your time
& make him look as ferocious & dangerous as possible. Okay, stop! Forget about that dog for a moment.
Instead, I want you to picture a cute little puppy. Picture him clearly now. This little guy is
as friendly as they come. He is wagging his tail & wiggling toward you, anxious for you to rub his belly & scratch his ears.
Aw, isn’t that sweet?
Now, let’s look at what happened
here. First you saw in your mind’s eye a vicious dog. I would bet that your mind furnished all sorts of details, such
as color, size, type, etc.
Your imagination didn’t need to be given instructions.
It went to work automatically.
Now,
how did you FEEL with this picture in your mind? Tense? Did you clench your jaw? Or perhaps your breathing became very shallow
or stopped altogether for a few moments.
Then, when I instructed you to envision
a friendly puppy, again your mind concocted all the details. What was your reaction this time? Did you smile? Did you chuckle
softly to yourself?
I’d like to point out two things:
First, NEITHER of those pictures existed anywhere in your immediate reality. They were both simply figments
of your imagination. Nonetheless, the images you created were no doubt vivid.
And more
importantly, your reactions, physical, psychological & emotional, were all quite REAL.
Second, you were able to SWITCH mental pictures completely & what’s more, you did it in a FLASH.
Exactly HOW did you accomplish this? Do you know?
Well, I don’t know either, but that doesn’t alter
the fact that you are, indeed, capable of conjuring up whatever you want, whenever you want, complete with as many details as you want. This is truly an astonishing
feat!
There’s no trick to it really. It’s just the
natural capacity of mind that you were born with. Can you believe that your mind has such phenomenal power?
And you & only you, have the final say as to which pictures
you allow to linger in your mind. You control the master switch!
Once we start to appreciate the tremendous power of our own minds, then it becomes much easier to put forth whatever effort is necessary to feed it the messages WE choose
rather than society’s insinuations of our inferiority.
Can you see how powerful this mental imagery can be in boosting your self-esteem?
Let’s try something else. I found this next exercise to be very helpful & hopefully you will, too...
Just imagine yourself sitting like a kid in a big playroom surrounded
by many building blocks. Each block represents a thought.
Now some of these blocks are more attractive than others. You can pick & choose
any ones that you want. That’s right. If you happen to latch onto a thought/block that you don’t like, you can
just throw it back.
It’s that simple...
And
that fast.
You're free to toss a block aside with absolutely NO penalties. If you decide you want only the pretty blocks, no one else can
keep you from taking them.
Isn’t this a delightful little game?
Your mental screen is a terrific playground! Have fun with it!
Remember,
YOU'RE THE ONE IN CHARGE of the controls.
Now granted, since we humans
are creatures of habit, we may have to throw back some undesirable blocks a number of times before we automatically go for
the more attractive ones.
The really exciting point here, though, is that we're absolutely free to do so! No one, but no one can force us to “pick up a block”
that we don’t like or want.
No matter what we hope to accomplish in business or in life, harnessing our fantastic mental powers will greatly increase the quantity & the quality of our contributions.
Putting our
imaginations to work for us instead of against us puts us on the fast track to success. It’s like finally releasing the brakes on our engines.
I hope you’ll
put these concepts to work immediately to freshen up a battered self-image
& to help yourself in many more ways.
Naturally, permanent change will not occur with the first few attempts. However, I believe that once you have begun to explore how much fun & how powerful your own imagination is, it'll be a pleasure for you to make the repeated, consistent efforts necessary to produce the changes that you desire.
I trust that the ideas put forth here have helped you to realize & appreciate the truly extraordinary power you have at your disposal.
Certainly such awesome powers deserve to be tended 7 cultivated. Don’t you agree?
I thank you
for your attention.
source: selfgrowth.com
Many of us are afraid to brag, even to ourselves. But we need
to know our strengths. Make a list of your good traits,
using the list of positive & negative characteristics
from step 3 (also include the strengths you added to your
list of weaknesses).
Make the list as complete as possible. What good traits do your friends, your parents, your teachers, your idols have? Do you have some of those traits too?
If so, add them to your list. No one needs to see your list,
put down everything you like about yourself, everything
that is good. If you have difficulty thinking of positive
traits, this may mean you have an overwhelmingly severe
critic.
Ask your friends for suggestions. Write several simple positive statements about yourself. Examples: "I care for my family & friends; I'm loving &
giving" or "I'm fun to be with,
people enjoy me" or "I'm a serious student preparing for life."
Repeat statements like these, which are true of you, several
times a day, perhaps followed by a reward. Put your positive
traits on cards & stick them up where you will see them
often. When relaxing, spend 10 minutes thinking about specific
incidences in which you were good
in the past & fantasize about situations in which you could use your good traits again in the future.
All of these methods accentuate your positive features. What is most important is that you remember the positive when the internal critic attacks you.
Think of what
you have rather than of what you lack. Of the things you have, select the best and then reflect
how eagerly
you would have sought them if you did not have them.
Marcus
Aurelius, 30 B.C.
|
 |
|
How does your body image shape up?
The following items are how people assess their body image. Using these items how does
your body image shape up? Put an X next to those statements that are true for you
___ I dislike seeing myself in mirrors.
___ I find shopping for clothes unpleasant.
___ I'm ashamed to be seen in public.
___ I like to pretend to be invisible in public
settings.
___ I'm initially shy in social gatherings or when I meet new people.
___ I think my body is ugly.
___ I usually dress in a way to hide my body.
___ I'm self conscious about my body in the presence
of a person of the opposite sex.
___ I feel that other people must think my body is unattractive.
___ I feel self-conscious in a bathing suit.
___ I avoid social occasions like swim parties, beach picnics, or hotel pools where swim suits are usually worn.
___ I feel that my family & friends are often
embarrassed to be seen w/me in public.
___ I find that I'm constantly comparing my body
to those of others.
___ I avoid going out in public because I'm so self-conscious about my body.
___ I find it difficult to enjoy activities because
I'm conscious of my physical appearance.
___ I don't enjoy dressing up for special occasions
because I'm never happy w/how I look.
___ I feel self-conscious sitting in a beauty salon
or barber shop because of my physical appearance.
___ I feel self-conscious over my weight problem
& how it affects my looks.
___ I'm always negative & critical whenever I think of my body.
___ I'm intimidated by people who have bodies which I believe look better than mine.
If you checked 3 or more items, your body image is affecting your self-image in a negative way.
It's important for you to keep your body image current so that you will act in a way to reinforce this image, i.e., by eating in moderation, exercising, etc. To help yourself
to see yourself as you are:
-
Begin looking
in mirrors frequently.
-
Keep an old
picture of yourself next to a new picture of you on the refrigerator & bathroom mirror so that your new image is reinforced.
-
Accept compliments on your body size & believe them.
-
Go to clothing
stores & try on clothes.
-
Treat self to
new hairstyle.
-
Try new make
up.
-
Try out more
stylish clothes.
-
Start new activities
that you once shied away from because you felt you were too fat, e.g.: take dance lessons, go swimming, learn to ski (water & snow), play tennis, etc.
-
Work on improved
social skills that enhance your new self-image.
|
|
|
|
|
Talking with Teens about a positive self-image
By Shauna Scott Rhone
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Academic pressures. Insults from classmates. Unpredictable hormone surges. The uncertainty of approaching adulthood.
Those are among the challenges a group of area teens told the Enquirer they wrestle with each day.
And they're not alone.
Issues related to self-esteem & stress are a big part of life for most teen-agers. Happiness & success in school and the rest of life will come easier to teenagers who possess a positive self-image, supported by the adults in their lives, say teen behavior experts.
Says 18-year-old Stacy Tolos
of Montgomery: "All these extracurriculars, all these sports, it's really hard to balance it all. And a lot of kids just have problems & they get real stressed & some just don't know how to cope with it."
Says 16-year-old Gretchen
Bloomstrom of Montgomery: "Now it's more normal to be incredibly busy & incredibly stressed. . . ."
Brittany Bagent of Symmes
Township, 17, agrees. "The competition these days is so much higher now, with college acceptance & just competition within the high school. There are so many things going on in our lives. We have school & sports.
We have jobs & friends & all these different things to balance."
The girls in this group were
more willing to talk about how self-esteem issues affect them personally.
"Girls worry about everything,"
says Sasha Appatova, 15. "We wake up in the morning & worry about how we look, how we're dressed, how much we weigh. We
pretend like we don't care, but we do. So yeah, we have a lot more to worry about than they (guys) do."
Nate Kennedy, 15, of Montgomery,
sometimes discusses issues that relate to self-esteem with friends before going to his parents.
"My situation, I spend more
time with my friends than I do with my actual family because I'm at school all the time. Even on weekends, I'm at school.
So, not that I necessarily know them better, but I'm more comfortable with them because they know me more than my parents probably do.
"I go to my parents
when I have very important stuff, but not when, just giving out my feelings about something common with other kids my age."
His general advice for parents:
"Let us live our lives, but lead us along the way."
Chase Jones, 17, of Symmes
Township, agrees & says guys are less inclined to bring up such issues with their parents.
". . . We go mostly to our
friends & they'll help us out, because they can understand what we're going thru better. Guys don't really show it. I'm not saying that girls have more stress & guys don't. I think we're probably equal, it's just that we don't express it as much. We kind of just keep it up. It's kind of a guy thing to
do, to act cool & easy."
Parents' role significant
"Parents are very important to your level of self-esteem," says Live Oaks Career Development student Crystal Williams, 17, of Owensville. "They can make it or break it."
The findings of a recent study
by the research group Child Trends reinforces the importance of the role played by parents. Teenagers with high self-esteem, the study shows, generally have parents with high self-esteem.
"Not surprisingly," the study
concludes, "how teens are parented & the emotional well-being of their parents play roles in teens' emotional well-being."
"My mom is very important to my self-esteem," says Angela Parlier, 17, of Amelia, "because we are close enough that our opinions matter to each other. My mom never tries to make my decisions for me, she just always encourages me to do what I believe in. Without my mom, I wouldn't have the strength that I do today."
During the teen years, despite
their protests to the contrary, teens need their parents as much as ever. Studies show positive reinforcement & more engaged parenting results in children delaying or completely avoiding negative behaviors such as ill-advised sexual activity & drug use.
"Parents have the most powerful influence on a teen's life," says Dr. Russ Radenhausen, Director of Substance Abuse Services at NorthKey Community Care, a health care
agency in Covington. "If they don't have that communication established, they're missing the most important thing."
When a teen's self-esteem hits rock bottom, the most tragic result is suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 1999, 20%t of U.S.
high school students reported having seriously considered or attempted suicide during the previous 12 months. 8% of students who seriously considered suicide actually attempted suicide.
"Family connectiveness is a protective factor against suicide," says Cathy Strunk, the Suicide Prevention Liaison for Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. Ms. Strunk travels
to several Greater Cincinnati high schools listening to teens & talking about life crises that lead to depression. She encourages parents to get closer to their children.
"The more involved (parents) are," she says, "the more protected their children feel. Low self-esteem can be a sign of depression. More kids are telling me they're depressed. Most times, it's from the parents who project a negative inner critical voice" that kids internalize.
Some teens tell Ms. Strunk
their parents don't listen to them when they say things about feeling sad or unloved.
"They don't want to believe their child's depression," she says. "Kids have secrets" that parents need to be aware of.
"My parents talk to me about
different things that are going in my life," says Live Oaks Career Development student Michelle Timmers, 17, of Mariemont,
" & they always encourage me to do my best."
"Parents need to start an active dialogue with their kids," says Keith King, assistant professor of health promotion & education at
the University of Cincinnati. But parents shouldn't be "preachy. You have to actively listen to what a child has to say. Instead of being confrontational, listen with compassion. Call & leave notes of encouragement. Ask 'How was the test?' & really show interest.
Those are small steps that
go a long way" toward letting your teen know you care.
"It's never too late to start."
The other side
The flip-side of low self-esteem, thinking too much of oneself, can lead to narcissism, a self-centered outlook on life where everything is "all about me."
A study released in September
by the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research (ISR) warns teens against being over-competitive & self-absorbed at the risk of alienating friends & family.
"The pursuit of self-esteem can ultimately be self-destructive & may be costly to others as well," says Jennifer Crocker, an ISR psychologist.
"My research shows that when
you make your self-esteem contingent on something other than your basic value as a human being, it's not a good thing, even if the source of your self-esteem is something as praiseworthy as getting good grades."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
